PAST: Does it really matter?

A question that struck me the most in my 20 years of existence. Does the past really matter? I’ve been to different kinds of events in my life and some of them were good while some of them were worst that I really want to forget. It’s inevitable that at some point of our life, we regret what we’ve done in the past but because it happened already, we have to accept them.
According the Charles Xavier in X-MEN: Days of Future Past, “We are the sum of our choices, as what we do now defines what we will do.” If only I have thought about this beforehand, I would be more cautious in the past. If there’s one thing I want to change in the past is about my early love relationships. I should have guarded my heart very well and saved my first kiss for the right one. But I was vulnerable and juvenile. If I have saved my self for the right one, then I wouldn’t get my heart broken at a very young age. I shouldn’t have spent my nights drowning into tears and listening to sad songs. I wouldn’t be this scared to fall in love and risk for love. I could give my whole heart for the right one.
Another added question to this is that does the past of someone really matters? In my part, yes it is but it won’t be really a big deal since what has done is done. If that someone has a history of murder but has already changed, would you trust him of not killing you? I am still human. And the past of someone would affect me with a feeling of fear that it might happen to me for history repeats itself. When it comes to relationships and this someone has a past of sleeping with a lot of girls while in your part, you haven’t slept with anyone, would you still accept him? Of course, you would be loaded with thoughts of what ifs. What if you are just one of his girls? What if you give in on the intimacy, he would compare you from the girls he had on bed? What if he is just after the flesh on your skin? And so on. It scares me a lot when it comes to this because we don’t know what is at the back of the mind of the people around us. It scares me that I am dwelling in a chaotic world where different people has their own different aspects in life.
But of course, I cannot settle with questions in life because it won’t get me any where. There is an action to be implied on in order to move on and open my doors into different views of life. So what do I have to do with the past? Accept. We can’t do anything about it. It already happened and it will remain as a lesson for everyone most especially to the next generation in line. And with acceptance, there is love. Love is a very big word. If Jesus accepts and loves the prostitutes, the murderers, the gamblers and the other sinners then who are we to not follow His ways? We should love one another as He loves us. It can move mountains. It can spread peace and unity to everyone. And because you love someone, you trust them. It is like having them hold the gun while it is pointing at you and you trust them not to pull the trigger. You trust them that what happened on the past won’t happen on you.
And for the next generation, we are responsible to guide them to the right ways and give wisdom basing from our past experiences. I don’t want my future sons and daughters experience what I have experienced in the past. They may create their own “past” but I want to be sure that I was right by their side and catch them whenever they fall. The past serves as a book of life lessons that is why it really matters. It will teach us many things and help us grow into a better person. A wiser one. A stronger person.
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Marica, a 20-something lady who loves to explore new things in the world while juggling her life in the medical field.

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